That moment when a hollow aching from deep within rises up and searches for more.
More what? I can’t help but wonder.
More is a word that generates many images.
More stuff: fancy cars; bigger homes; trendiest fashions; and latest technology.
More fun: vacations; day trips; dinners out; living the life…
More money: to fund everything listed above.
Is there such a thing being more fulfilled?
The definition of fulfillment: satisfaction or happiness as a result of fully developing one’s abilities or character.
This is the more that I have been searching for; at the same time, though, this is the more that I will never achieve. I don’t think total fulfillment will ever be reached until we stand in the presence of God.
Certainly we can, and should, develop our character and seek knowledge here because our calling to Christ is to back up our faith with these things:
Knowledge, virtue, self-control, brotherly affection and love. (2 Peter 1:5-9)
All of those things revolve around character development, but what we must realize is total satisfaction, happiness and fulfillment will never be achieved while we are still fighting our sinful natures.
Until the day we stand before Christ, we will never fully know who we really are. When we look into the face of our Creator is when we finally understand that who we are is nothing more than HIS.
Which in reality is a whole lot.
We belong to Him and what this means is that an eternity of true contentment—fulfillment—awaits. It is there that our questions will finally be answered.
Still, there must surely be depth here in this place where I have temporarily made my home.
That through the dishwater my hands sink into, I can pull out joy and understand that this is my earthly calling and that in reality I do not need more.
So instead of total fulfillment here, what I am looking to is purpose.
To find purpose in the small duties I so often dread is the closest I will ever come to true fulfillment because they are the same ones that make life better for the ones I love.
I have been given what will seem like only a moment in time with these two.
To teach them. To mold them. To give them the tools to serve God.
The willingness to put my own desires underneath their needs.
In this, perhaps the closest we can come to earthly fulfillment is through sacrifice.
I believe that is the example that Christ set for us. He purpose on Earth was sacrifice for His children.
I truly believe that during my time in the world I will never come closer to the face of God than I am right now—as I look into their beaming Oreo covered faces.
Wait…OREOS?! From my under the bed stash.
Some sacrifices are easier to make than others.