The following are NOT reasons I am wearing these shoes today:
1. Because they are cute (cuteness is just a decoy to the torture chambers they actually are).
2. Because they are expensive, name brand ankle boots (three bucks at Kmart clearance).
3. Because I can walk and function normally in them (think drunken peacock).
The only reason I am wearing these shoes today:
Because Wilma (the dog) ate my only other pair of black shoes.