Time Marches On

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I have written about probably every stage from baby to toddler to little boy in some form, and have actually been a little perplexed by their current progression.

Logan will be off to his first day of kindergarten in June and in the fall my days will be void of the everyday duties to which I have grown so accustomed.

It is strange to think that part of my life is over; my babies are too big to pick up and carry now. My babies are growing up, and due to a recent cancer scare, I will undergo a hysterectomy in the next few months.

So that part of my life is done.

A new one, though, has begun. I have always felt that time is not on my side and I have fought it with each passing day; milestones have whizzed by and sweet baby talk morphed into intelligible language–unless it is about Minecraft.

Minute has piled atop minute and somewhere in that discombobulation is what my kids will remember as their childhood.

I realized I need to quit pining away and concentrate on making the best of every single one of those.

Well, that is why I have decided to join forces with time. I waved the white flag in a fight I was destined to lose anyway; we have come to a truce.

Really, though, I am not so sure I have lost anything at all. I have gained more than I could ever imagine through these almost nine years (so far) of parenting.

I have gained perspective: I thought parenting was kind of a by-the-book process, and now I know parents are just people doing the best with what they have been given.

I have gained empathy: where a screaming toddler flops, there my heart will be. Be it the the aisles of Walmart or the restaurant I went to for quiet time, I will always have an unspoken bond with that mom.

I know the look in the eyes of a mommy who is ready to give up, and I also know she never will.

I have gained faith: real love is messy and it is beautiful, and God’s perfect way to remind of us that is by changing explosive diapers. God got His hands dirty when He created us, and He will never stop reminding me that love is exactly that.

Love the good times, embrace the bad ones, and hold your nose and stick it out through worst ones.

Another thing I have gained, which is not to be forgotten, is a new chapter.

My boys aren’t fully grown, they are just bigger.

As I cheer them from the baseball stands, and he proudly picks his nose on third base, there will always be moments to remind me of the good old days.
  

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