Breaking News: New law enforces toy pickup


It was announced today that a new law will go into effect immediately at the Duncan house.

Any small toys still on the floor when the vacuum starts will be thrown away without notice to the toy owner.

This new law has sparked controversy in the house and a small group (meaning short people) are picketing the trash pile and threatening to protest. They claim that the  law is unfair.

“What if I didn’t put them on the floor?” said one small Duncan.

(photo by Duncan Daily News) Legos nearly missed by the vacuum are now in the trash.

(photo by Duncan Daily News) Legos nearly missed by the vacuum are now in the trash.

He said that sometimes the toys are put on the floor not by the toy owner but by Choo-Choo the imaginary friend who is known for reaping havoc in the Duncan house. He also said that dog, Wilma, is also guilty of pulling the toys onto the floor.

“It’s NOT MY FAULT!” said the littlest Duncan who says that a lot.

These claims are not legitimate according to the the household Legislator (also the cook, maid, secretary, etc.).  She says that the new household ordinance requires proper notice be given to toy owners before vacuuming begins. The person with the vacuum (usually the Legislator herself) must announce she will be vacuuming at least 20 minutes beforehand.

“With the notice given everyone has time to pick up their toys no matter who put them there,” she said.  “I am just trying to save the vacuum.”

The Legislator is a passionate member of the Save the Vacuum Organization founded in early 2015 after the household vacuum died from floor litter.  She now rallies for vacuums that needlessly die due to negligence and improper care.

“I have witnessed the horror of watching one sputter its last breath while it inhales a lego,” she said.  “I just felt helpless.”

The little Duncans said that even though the cause seems a reputable one, they do not know if it is one that they will be able to adhere to it, and are unafraid of the consequences ahead.

“I don’t care if she throws away my toys,” said one, shrugging. “I will just get more.”


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